


Socks: #24

by Ignisentis



Series: 32 Ways To Say I Love You [24]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Bucky Gets Emotional About A Sock, Idiots in Love, M/M, Tooth-Rotting Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-07
Updated: 2020-02-07
Packaged: 2021-02-19 05:22:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,122
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22605781
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ignisentis/pseuds/Ignisentis
Summary: When Bucky finds a hole in the heel of one of the socks Steve knitted for him, it hits him harder than he expected.
Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes/Steve Rogers
Series: 32 Ways To Say I Love You [24]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1602352
Comments: 36
Kudos: 166





	Socks: #24

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry for the missed posting day yesterday, but I had an evening meeting for a nonprofit I volunteer with about its by-laws, and it lasted three hours, four if you include travel time, and my brain was done after that. There will be a second ficlet later today to make up for it!
> 
> This one got a little more emotional than I anticipated, but I kind of like it. I hope you will, too.
> 
> You can find me on [Twitter](https://twitter.com/Ardeospina) if you want.

Bucky’s curled up under his favorite blanket, cozy and warm, watching the rain fall over Manhattan. Alpine is snuggled up in his cat hammock, dozing away the afternoon. Steve brought Bucky some tea a few minutes ago, so everything is perfect.

Except.

Except for his toes, which are cold and getting colder by the minute. It’s just that...ugh, the dresser where he keeps his socks is in their bedroom, all the way across their floor, and he’s so comfortable! Maybe more tea will help…

UGH!!!

Bucky sighs and gives up, tossing his blanket off dramatically as he slides off his favorite armchair. He hears Steve try to suppress a giggle from where he’s snuggled up on the couch and sends a little pout his way, but Steve’s nose is buried in his book so he doesn’t see it.

Bucky opens his sock drawer, the one dedicated to the socks Steve knits for him, tapping his finger on his chin as he tries to decide what pair he wants to wear. He’s feeling a little nostalgic today for some reason, so he pulls out the first pair Steve ever knitted for him: a plain pattern in a lovely dark green yarn, soft with wear. He slides them onto his feet, and they fit just as perfectly as they did the first time he tried them on.

Bucky closes his sock drawer and heads out of the bedroom, frowning when he feels something weird on the bottom of his right heel. Did he step on a...sticker or something? Why would there be a sticker on the floor?

Bucky turns around and goes back to sit on the edge of the bed, bending his leg up so he can see the bottom of his heel. He gasps when he sees the problem: there’s a hole in the heel of his sock.

“No! No no no!” he cries, pulling off his sock so he can look at the hole. This is...this is bad, this is so bad. Steve made him these socks, and now there’s a  _ hole _ in one? He takes a few deep breaths to try and stave off the creeping dread he can feel worming its way up from his stomach. Okay, he can do this. 

There’s a frayed piece of yarn sticking out into the hole, so Bucky grasps it. Maybe if he just tugs a little he can use it to close the — “AAH!” Bucky shrieks when tugging on the yarn opens the hole more. “AAH!” he’s panicking a little bit now, fingers fumbling with the sock, and the frayed end of the yarn gets caught in between one of the plates on his metal hand. He jerks it away to try and unstick the yarn, but that just makes the hole fray open even wider, which makes Bucky scream again.

“Bucky, what’s wrong?” Steve asks, panic in his voice, as he careens through the bedroom doorway.

Bucky feels tears start prickling at his eyes, and he swallows against the tightening in his throat, but as he holds up the holey sock and the yarn caught on his hand, he loses the battle.

“There’s a hole in my sock!” he moans miserably as tears slide down his cheeks.

“O...oh,” Steve says, clearly caught off guard, his mouth twisting as he tries not to smile.

“It’s not  _ funny, _ Steve!” Bucky wails, shame and anger spiking in his belly.

“Oh, honey, I’m sorry. You’re right, it’s not funny. I’m sorry, sweetheart, I was just surprised is all,” Steve says sincerely, coming to sit next to Bucky on the bed. He reaches out tentatively in case Bucky’s mad and doesn’t want to be touched, but Bucky does, so he leans in and lets Steve wrap his arms around him. Bucky lets Steve tuck him close and whisper sweet things into his hair until the tears stop spilling down his face. Steve cups his face when he pulls back, wiping the tear tracks away with his thumbs before leaning in to kiss the tip of Bucky’s nose. Bucky closes his eyes and gives a watery little sigh before opening his eyes again and nodding.

“Show me what’s wrong, honey,” Steve says gently, and Bucky holds out the holey sock again. Steve hums when he sees it, tracking the yarn strand to Bucky’s hand. 

“So good news,” Steve says, “I can fix this. I’ll darn that hole no problem. Okay?”

Bucky frowns at him. “What’s darning?”

“Oh, do you not remem— uh, it’s a way of repairing a hole in fabric or knitting. I used to do it all the time before the war. Why don’t we go to my craft room, huh? I’ve got my darning egg in there.”

“A darning...egg?”

Steve smiles at him. “You’ll see. Come on.” Steve stands up and tugs gently on Bucky’s wrist, so he gets up and follows Steve to his craft room. There’s a loveseat against one of the walls, and Steve leads Bucky to it. Bucky sits and waits while Steve goes to a giant cube storage unit that takes up another wall. He pulls down a bin, and it looks like he starts going through some files. Which is odd.

“Are those files?” he asks Steve, curious.

“Oh, I guess they are. I keep the scrap yarn from every project I make in case I need to repair it.”

“And you label and file them?”

Steve shrugs. “Well, yeah. How else am I going to find stuff when I need it?”

“You have a labeled filing system for scrap yarn. God, you’re a nerd,” Bucky says fondly.

Steve smiles back at him over his shoulder, giving the cutest little “aha” when he finds what he’s looking for. He turns toward Bucky and holds up a little baggie with the same yarn as Bucky’s socks. He pulls down another bin and rummages through it before coming over with some scissors, a thick, dull sewing needle, and a large wooden egg.

Huh. Darning egg. That egg part was literal.

Steve comes back over to the loveseat and sits down next to Bucky. He takes Bucky’s metal hand and gently works the yarn loose from where it was caught in one of the plates, then raises Bucky’s hand to his mouth and kisses Bucky’s knuckles. 

“Steve,” Bucky whispers as warmth pools in his belly, like it always does whenever Steve treats his arm like it’s something precious, something safe. Steve just smiles and lets Bucky’s hand go, holding out his own so Bucky can give him the sock. Steve looks it over, turning it back and forth a few times. He pulls some yarn out of the baggie and cuts a length before threading it through the needle. He does something complicated on the inside of the sock to make the end of the yarn disappear, then turns it rightside in again, pulling it down over the darning egg so the heel is over the rounded end of the egg.

He takes the blunted needle and starts working around the outside of the hole on each edge, a few rows in where the knitting is still undamaged. Once he has that done, he takes the needle and starts making horizontal lines across the hole, making sure not to tighten them too much. Bucky can see why the darning egg is so important now: it keeps the sock shaped like his heel so the patch isn’t so tight he can’t wear the sock again.

Once the horizontal lines are finished, Steve starts weaving in vertical ones, and oh, he’s literally weaving new fabric in the hole of the sock. That’s...well. Bucky’s not quite sure  _ what _ that is, but he’s definitely feeling some sort of emotion about it.

Steve pulls the sock off the darning egg when he’s done and holds it out to Bucky. “Ta-da!” he says, and Bucky takes the sock from Steve.

Bucky turns it over and touches the patch, feels how the weave is different from the knitting next to it. He feels unaccountably sad, and Steve must see it on his face because he’s scooting right up next to Bucky with a soft “hey.”

“Hey,” he says again, and Bucky looks up at his face. His perfect, stupid, beautiful, understanding face, and Bucky’s heart tumbles around in his chest. He feels unmoored, wrong-footed in a way he can’t explain.

Steve doesn’t say anything else, he just sits there waiting patiently in case Bucky wants to tell him what’s wrong. 

Bucky isn’t even sure  _ he _ knows what’s wrong, but then his mouth is opening anyway, and he blurts out, “I ruined them. The socks. I ruined them, Steve. You worked so hard on them, and I just —”

“No,” Steve interrupts. “You didn’t. Not one bit. Bucky, can you look at me please, sweetheart?”

Bucky sighs and squeezes his eyes closed. He feels Steve tenderly lift his hands off his thighs and hold on with his own. Bucky opens his eyes and does as Steve asked.

“You did no such thing, okay? Honey, I made those socks to be worn, to be used and loved. It made me so happy seeing you wear them, made me so happy to know you enjoyed them. I would rather you wear them into dust than get scared and keep them in a drawer somewhere. Do you believe me? Tell me you believe me.”

Bucky nods but also shrugs, and he feels another thought working its way out, and Steve must be able to tell, too, because he squeezes Bucky’s hands and waits quietly.

Bucky looks down at their hands when he finally speaks. “They’re fixed but...they’re not the same. As they were before. They can’t ever be the same again.” He looks back up and sees a sort of understanding dawn on Steve’s face, which is good because he’s still completely off-kilter here, so at least  _ someone _ knows what’s happening.

“No, they can’t,” Steve says gently. “And they won’t be. But that’s just life, Buck. We live and we change, we tear and bleed and break, and we fix it and fix it until we’re more patch than anything else, but we’re still  _ us. _ We’re still perfect just as we are.  _ You _ are perfect, and I will always want you just as you are.”

Oh. Oh, fuck, that’s...that...that makes his heart settle in his chest, slots it back into place where it belongs, tattooing Steve’s name on his ribs with every heavy beat, like it has done for decades.

“Steve,” he sighs, sagging forward into Steve’s chest. Steve pulls his hands away and wraps his arms around Bucky, pulling him close and holding him as Bucky closes his eyes and breathes Steve in.

“Come on,” Steve says a little while later, shifting like he wants to stand up. “Let’s go to bed.”

Bucky huffs. “It’s not even dark out, Steve.”

“That’s okay, honey. Let’s go anyway.”

Bucky sighs and closes his eyes, nodding into Steve’s chest. Steve gets his arms up under Bucky’s and heaves him to his feet. Bucky leans against Steve as they shuffle to their bedroom. He lets Steve sit him down on the bed and pull off the one knitted sock he still has on his foot, lets him find some flannel sleep pants and a henley and set them down next to him on the bed. He pulls his own shirt off, though, and dresses himself while Steve changes out of his jeans and into some sweats. 

Bucky slides under the covers once he’s changed, curling himself around Steve once he settles beside him.

“Want to listen to something?” Steve asks.

“Yeah. Something easy.”

“Okay. Jarvis, play the Winnie the Pooh audiobook, please.”

“ _ Of course, sir _ .”

Bucky snorts a little. “Cause I’m Eeyore?”

“Nah. Well, we’re all a little Eeyore sometimes. Right now you’re Piglet: brave even when it’s hard and scary.”

“Steve, oh, my god.”

Steve honest to god giggles at him.

“That was so cheesy, Steve, it’s a good thing I have the serum or my arteries would be clogged right now.”

Steve giggles again before shushing Bucky as Jarvis starts to play the audiobook. 

“Thank you,” Bucky says into Steve’s ribs halfway through chapter two. Steve just leans down and kisses Bucky’s forehead. Bucky closes his eyes, soaking in Steve’s warmth as he lets Peter Dennis’s soothing voice lull him to sleep.

~~~

Bucky’s sitting on the couch reading a book when Steve comes back from his morning run. Bucky wiggles his toes as Steve walks by, drawing his eyes to the pair of green knitted socks Steve darned for him yesterday. They fit perfectly, just like they always have. 

Steve’s smile lights up his face.

  
  
  
  


  
  
  
  



End file.
